Those Labeled 'Dramatic' as Kids Often Gain These 12 Traits, Experts Say

The Lasting Impact of Childhood Labels

Childhood experiences can shape our adult lives in profound ways. Psychologists emphasize that the roles we are assigned as children often continue to influence us well into adulthood, especially for those labeled "dramatic" during their formative years.

Dr. Emily Guarnotta, Psy.D., PMH-C, psychologist and founder of Phoenix Health, explains, "When children are given labels like 'dramatic,' they receive a powerful message that can stick with them for a long time. They hear that their feelings are too much or wrong." Understanding how these childhood labels affect us today is the first step toward healing and creating healthier patterns.

Psychologists have identified 12 common traits and behaviors that people labeled "dramatic" as children often display as adults, along with strategies for healing.

1. People-Pleasing Behavior

Individuals who were labeled "dramatic" as children may become people-pleasers in adulthood. While this behavior might be advantageous in a career on Broadway, it can be detrimental in real-life situations. Dr. Guarnotta notes, "They might try to keep others happy and comfortable, even when it's at their own expense."

2. Poor Boundaries

People-pleasing tendencies can lead to what Dr. Gayle MacBride, Ph.D., LP, calls "Jell-O" boundaries. These individuals may second-guess their needs and boundaries due to messages received in childhood that their needs were selfish or unreasonable.

3. Over-Explaining and Over-Apologizing

Adults who were called "dramatic" as children may feel the need to justify every feeling or action to avoid being misunderstood. Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., explains, "Being called 'dramatic' as a child can lead to internalized guilt about having needs or taking up space."

4. Fear of Rejection or Abandonment

Some individuals who were labeled "dramatic" in childhood may fear that sharing their true selves will lead to disconnection. This can result in people-pleasing or over-attachment in relationships.

5. Prioritizing External Validation

These individuals often seek validation and acknowledgment from others. Dr. Joel Frank, Psy.D., notes, "A desire for attention is often present, not out of vanity, but because they thrive on acknowledgment and being seen by others."

6. Invalidating Others

Sometimes, people treat others the way they were treated rather than how they want to be treated. Dr. Guarnotta explains, "A person who was always called 'dramatic' as a child might become an adult who puts labels on their own children."

7. Second-Guessing Emotions

Second-guessing and emotional invalidation are common among those who were told they were "over-dramatic" as children. Dr. MacBride states, "You often hear them asking, 'Am I making a big deal out of nothing?'"

8. Concealing Emotions

Children who were told they were too much or dramatic may learn to appear "cool, calm and collected." Dr. MacBride compares this to the "Elsa effect," where emotions are seen as unhelpful or dangerous.

9. High Empathy for Others and Low Self-Compassion

Many individuals who were labeled "dramatic" as children struggle to offer kindness to themselves. Dr. Lira de la Rosa notes, "They may have learned to prioritize others' feelings as a survival skill."

10. Strong Storytelling Ability or Expressiveness

The same traits that were dismissed as "dramatic" in childhood can become powerful tools in adulthood. Dr. Lira de la Rosa says, "Clients who were expressive kids are often great at using metaphor, humor or creative language to communicate in therapy."

11. Impulsivity

Some individuals who grew up being called "dramatic" may act or speak without much forethought, driven by their emotions in the moment.

12. Anxiety or Hypervigilance

Constantly monitoring others' emotions can lead to chronic anxiety or hypervigilance. Dr. Guarnotta warns, "This can manifest as tensions or hypervigilance, with a person constantly watching their partner for signs of disapproval."

Tips for Healing From a 'Dramatic' Label in Childhood

1. Shift the Narrative

Dr. MacBride encourages individuals to stop gaslighting themselves and believe that having emotions is not being "too much." Emotions serve a function and often tell you something valuable about yourself or the situation.

2. Practice Voicing Your Needs

It's essential to practice expressing your needs. Start small, ask for support, and don't over-explain or justify the need for that support.

3. Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care plays a vital role in healing. Activities like regular exercise, proper nutrition, sufficient rest, and engaging in fulfilling hobbies enhance overall well-being.

4. Build a Support System

Engage with individuals who provide empathy, understanding, and encouragement. A reliable support system can offer comfort, perspective, and a sense of belonging during challenging periods.

5. Seek Therapy

Therapy provides a safe space to unpack early childhood wounds and heal from them. A good therapist offers a judgment-free environment and can help individuals experience what it's like to have their feelings accepted and validated.