Married at First Sight's Mel Schilling Shares 5 Must-Try Dating Tips

Dating can feel like a daunting endeavor, especially if you're reentering the scene after a divorce, heartbreak, or a long hiatus. However, according to Mel Schilling, a relationship expert featured on Married at First Sight UK, it's never too late to find love. Appearing on Davina McCall’s Begin Again podcast, Schilling shared five empowering tips for anyone navigating modern dating with renewed confidence, particularly those starting over later in life.

Schilling, who met her husband in her late thirties, understands the challenges of entering the dating world as an adult. She emphasized that many people find themselves single again in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and even 70s, often feeling lost due to how much the rules have changed. Below are her insightful strategies for building a fulfilling romantic future.

1. Define Your "Dating Brand"

Schilling encourages singles to think about crafting a "dating brand" — essentially, understanding who you are and what you bring to a relationship. This involves reflecting on past experiences, identifying your values, and being honest about your strengths and weaknesses. According to Schilling, personal growth begins with self-reflection and accountability for past mistakes. By doing so, you avoid carrying unresolved issues into new relationships.

She advises listeners to focus on questions like: “Who am I now?” and “What do I bring to this next stage?” rather than immediately jumping to “What do I want?”

2. Embrace Technology

Schilling acknowledges that modern dating often starts online. While this might be intimidating for those less tech-savvy, she recommends seeking help from younger family members, such as children or grandchildren, who may enjoy teaching these skills. Signing up for dating apps or websites is a practical first step that can quickly open doors to potential matches.

3. Narrow Down Your Options Strategically

Rather than casting a wide net, Schilling suggests tailoring your profile to attract people who align with your values and lifestyle. For instance, if you’re not interested in having children, stating that clearly can filter out incompatible matches. Uploading photos that reflect your genuine interests—whether spending time with family or exploring nature—can also help weed out those who don’t share your passions.

4. Know Your Deal Breakers

Schilling divides deal breakers into two categories:

• Global Deal Breakers: These are behaviors that should raise red flags for everyone, such as aggression, racism, sexism, or any form of prejudice.

• Personal Value Deal Breakers: These depend on individual priorities. For example, if health is important to you, dating someone who neglects their well-being could lead to conflict.

It's crucial to recognize these boundaries not as judgments but as markers for alignment and compatibility.

5. Reframe Negative Self-Talk

Finally, Schilling addresses the emotional resilience required in dating. She encourages individuals to challenge negative thoughts that may sabotage their experience. Using the metaphor of a tree shedding old leaves, she highlights the importance of letting go of self-blame or pain caused by others. Positive self-talk, while simple in theory, requires consistent effort and mindfulness.

In summary, Mel Schilling’s advice offers a roadmap for anyone looking to navigate the complexities of modern dating with confidence and clarity. Whether defining your identity, embracing technology, or setting boundaries, her insights provide valuable tools for finding love at any age.