Billie Eilish: 'Writing Music Feels Dumb'

A Glimpse into Billie Eilish's World

Billie Eilish, the 23-year-old alt-pop sensation, recently made her way to London for a six-night run at the O2 as part of her Hit Me Hard And Soft Tour. Her arrival in the city was marked by the usual excitement, with fans screaming as she walked on stage in Shoreditch. While she may not be one for standing at the front row, the energy in the crowd gives a sense of what it’s like to be close to her performances.

Eilish’s first stop in London was a special event at her merch pop-up store in east London. The event was attended by a hundred lucky American Express cardholders and their daughters, all gathered under railway arches bathed in blue lighting that gave the space an underwater glow. Despite a six-hour train journey from Glasgow, Eilish appeared fresh-faced and full of energy. “It was beautiful, be-yooo-tiful,” she said with her California accent. “I mean, I'm also a little Scottish, so it was kind of cool to be there.”

Eilish is known for her commitment to sustainability, and this was evident in the merchandise on display. All items were described as “sustainably crafted with recycled and organic materials and non-toxic dyes.” The climate crisis remains a constant concern for her, often keeping her up at night. When asked about her future plans as an artist, she joked, “We're so f****d that we're all going to be killed by climate change in the next 15 years or so.” But she added, “But we've got some great concerts to look forward to!”

During the event, Eilish was in perfect late-night talk show interview mode, displaying poise and thoughtfulness while flashing her dimpled smile. She even addressed the infamous pet mouse she was gifted live on air in 2021 by Jimmy Kimmel. “They're like, here's your mouse, and then they took it back. Love you, Jimmy! But everyone thinks I have a mouse, and it's been four years, and that was someone else's mouse.”

Eilish also shared a story about spotting actor Jake Johnson in an airport last December. As a huge fan of his show New Girl, she was starstruck and even cried when she realized he was at the same airport. “I hid on the other side of the airport and I sobbed and I called a couple of my friends. I was like, ‘dude, Jake Johnson is at the same airport as me’,” she recalled. Eventually, she had to walk past him, and he called out to her. “I met him and he was really sweet and I had an awesome day,” she said.

Despite her fame, Eilish still doesn’t see herself as an artist. However, she deeply appreciates the support from her super fans, even if their signs can sometimes be distracting during performances. “I'll be really excited to read it, but I'm like I can't do it in the middle of a song because without a doubt I forget the lyrics,” she laughed. “Sometimes they're super random, sometimes they're devastating, sometimes they're just like the cutest thing in the world.”

Eilish is also candid about the different aspects of being a singer-songwriter. While she adores singing, she finds songwriting challenging. “I don't enjoy writing music. I don't like the physical act, it makes me feel very frustrated, like I'm dumb. I'm thinking of what I want to say, but I can't say it and I feel like I can't figure out the right chords,” she admitted. This is why, despite having released three albums, she still prefers to write all her music with her older brother Finneas, 27. “With a sibling you can be so honest with each other - and brutal, as we all know. With Finneas, I never have to worry we're gonna not be friends again.”

Finneas is currently working on his own solo career, but their mother, actress Maggie Baird, was present at the event, stylishly dressed with silver hair catching the blue lights. After the Q&A, Eilish returned to the stage as the audience gathered for photos and the chance to shop her merch. The pop-up featured items like dog tag-style necklaces (£75), a roomy tote made of upcycled materials (£115), and a variety of snapback caps (£35) including a special edition Union Jack version.

Given the success of Sabrina Carpenter’s recent pop-up, it’s expected that there will be long queues for Eilish’s event. The six shows at the O2 will run from tonight until July 17. Fans are encouraged to bring a sign, but with a warning to keep it from being too distracting.

The Billie Eilish Hit Me Hard And Soft merch pop-up presented by American Express is open from Thursday 10 July to Sunday 13 July at 347 Old St, EC1V, from 12:00 to 19:00. The tour continues at the O2 until July 17.