11 Private Details Psychologists Advise You to Keep to Yourself

In today's hyper-connected world, it’s easier than ever to share intimate details of our lives with just a few taps. While vulnerability and authenticity can foster connection and support, experts caution that not every detail is meant for public consumption—or even for casual conversations. Psychologists emphasize the importance of knowing what information to keep private, both online and offline, to protect personal safety, maintain dignity, and preserve healthy boundaries in relationships.

Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist, explains, "Understanding what to keep private helps safeguard your emotional well-being and ensures that only those who have earned your trust gain access to your inner life." Oversharing, especially with the wrong audience or in inappropriate contexts, can lead to emotional distress, broken trust, or even exploitation.

So, which personal details should remain off-limits? Here’s a comprehensive list from leading psychologists:

1. Photos of Children on Social Media

Parents and grandparents often post adorable snapshots of children—first days of school, holiday costumes, or magical moments at theme parks. However, Dr. Jan Miller, Ph.D., warns that such images can be misused by predators or cyberstalkers. She advises blurring faces and seeking permission before posting, especially as children grow older and develop their own sense of privacy.

2. Your Address and Phone Number

Though this may seem like common sense, the digital age has amplified the risks associated with sharing contact details. Scammers can exploit this information for identity theft, financial fraud, or harassment. Dr. Miller recommends limiting disclosure to situations where it’s absolutely necessary—like voter registration—and questioning why certain information is being requested.

3. Passwords and Login Credentials

Even among close friends, login information should remain confidential. Dr. Schiff notes that lending accounts—even for streaming services—can lead to accidental misuse or unauthorized access. If someone wants to use your account, consider making the purchase for them directly instead of handing over credentials.

4. Mental Health History

While reducing stigma around mental health is crucial, sharing detailed history in casual settings can lead to misunderstanding or judgment. Dr. Schiff suggests reserving these discussions for trusted loved ones or professionals who can offer appropriate support and discretion.

5. Details of Private Conversations

When someone confides in you, repeating those details without consent breaches trust. Dr. Miller cautions against spreading sensitive information from heart-to-heart talks, whether online or offline. Exceptions exist in cases involving abuse, harassment, or legal obligations.

6. Career Transitions Before They’re Official

Excitement about a new job or career pivot shouldn’t overshadow professional etiquette. Dr. Michele Leno, Ph.D., warns that announcing changes too early—especially on social media—can create anxiety among current employers or clients if they hear the news secondhand.

7. Plans To Leave a Relationship

Ending a relationship is deeply personal. Sharing premature details can lead to awkward interrogations and pressure from friends and family. Dr. Leno advises waiting until you're ready to take action before discussing the decision broadly.

8. People You Don’t Like

Not everyone will resonate with you, but broadcasting dislikes can create unnecessary tension. Dr. Leno notes that the person you dislike might be well-regarded by others, so avoid stirring conflict unless absolutely necessary.

9. Unsolicited Parenting Advice

Offering opinions on how a friend raises their child—even when asked—should be done carefully. Dr. Leno says such comments can come across as judgmental and provoke defensiveness.

10. Extreme Political Views in Public Forums

While political discourse is natural, aggressive posts or statements can polarize relationships. Dr. Leno encourages respectful dialogue rather than inflammatory rhetoric, especially in mixed company.

11. Anything You’re Uncomfortable Sharing

Ultimately, you have the right to set boundaries. Dr. Miller reminds us, "Once information is shared, you lose control over it. Only share what feels safe and what others have truly earned through trust."

Before hitting “post” or divulging something sensitive, ask yourself three key questions:

1. Is sharing this information necessary?
   Sometimes, like in emergencies or legal matters, it’s essential. But many times, you can opt out of answering uncomfortable questions simply because you feel pressured.

2. Is it safe to share?
   Consider the sensitivity of the information and the trustworthiness of the recipient. Is this data identifiable? Could it put you or others at risk?

3. What is your intent in sharing?
   Are you aiming to build a connection, help someone, or simply relieve stress? If your motivation is unclear or potentially harmful, reconsider.

Knowing what to keep private isn’t about building walls—it’s about choosing who gets access to your most valuable information. In an era where oversharing is normalized, setting thoughtful boundaries is more important than ever.