Resolve Workplace Conflict for Good—Stop Delegating Up

Reflect on this: Am I truly taking charge and leading, or am I simply passing the responsibility upwards?

During an already strained meeting with the executive team, the atmosphere abruptly escalated. This was the kind of gathering where silence seemed heavy even before anybody uttered a sound. You could sense it from the start – without needing to say anything – that underlying issues were brewing. Each individual felt this unspoken strain through faint exhalations and uncomfortably prolonged pauses.

For several months, the leader of the product team and the Chief Financial Officer were engaged in a silent but hostile conflict. This situation represented a highly functional yet dysfunctional dynamic where disagreements played out through concealed data exchanges. Their communications via platforms like Slack often carried undertones of irony and mockery. They also created intentional scheduling clashes as part of this ongoing battle. The whole scenario could have seemed amusing if not for how damagingly it affected everyone involved. To make matters worse, members from both parties aligned themselves along these lines, turning what ought to be collaborative meetings into arenas for indirect confrontations over allegiances.

Numerous individuals attempted this: including the CEO multiple times, the head of HR, and I also joined these efforts. Various approaches were used such as individual discussions, retreats, and collaborative coaching sessions. A recurring message emphasized unity with statements like "We either all win or we all lose together." Nonetheless, those persistent conflicts continued to recur. People still dodged addressing issues directly and clung to the wishful thinking that the CEO would once again intervene and mediate an agreement.

Halfway during a meeting, when another problem was quietly shifted onto the CEO’s plate, the Head of Human Resources—who truly deserves praise—took a stand. Leaning forward with her voice lifting not out of rage but from frustration and concern, she declared, "All of you must stop passing tasks upwards!" Her statement echoed clearly throughout the space. For a moment, everyone sat in shocked quiet. Following this, I chuckled and remarked, "Oh, I'm definitely borrowing those words."

Passing your issues upwards isn’t going to solve them.

She was correct. This particular issue struck me as something I encounter frequently, particularly within leadership groups comprising caring, intelligent individuals. These are folks who genuinely want to make a difference but find themselves overextended. If they're truthful with themselves, these leaders might admit feeling slightly apprehensive at times. Rather than tackling challenging issues collaboratively, they tend to seek assistance from those above them. Consequently, they often pass along responsibilities, relationships, and decisions upwards instead of dealing with them directly.

Frequently, they aren't even aware that they're engaging in this behavior. What made things challenging was not merely her fatigue; she felt completely exhausted, period. Beneath her calm exterior lay the burden of caring for two sick parents. Each week involved constant travel to hospitals, managing their medical needs, and witnessing her youth fade before her eyes. Upon returning to work, she found herself mediating conflicts that ought to have been resolved through straightforward discussions among mature individuals.

She required her team’s involvement; however, culture isn't transformed through an email alone. Transformation occurs within meetings and during specific instances. It happens when leaders such as the head of human resources take charge and encourage everyone else to cease their passive behavior. Continue reading for guidance on avoiding upward delegation.

Embrace the culture at the highest level.

When you're in a leadership position, assume accountability right away—act proactively and regularly. Establish a precedent where your team addresses issues at their source rather than escalating them upward. Clearly define what’s expected so that everyone on your team grasps these guidelines. how to handle conflicts If you fail to offer guidance on resolving conflicts, teams will keep escalating issues upward.

Make the first move.

If you’re a leader —whether it’s about a function, a team, or a project—don’t wait for someone higher up to remove the difficult aspects. Seeking approval isn’t necessary before taking charge, resolving issues directly, or getting more involved.

Describe what you observe. Share what you desire. Take the initial step. Rather than contacting your supervisor on Slack for assistance, ask for a one-on-one discussion with your colleague and attempt to resolve the matter directly.

Stick with it.

Addressing disputes isn't a single discussion task. It might be tempting to brush the issue aside, yet enduring transformation arises from perseverance. Continue being involved, particularly during times of sluggish advancement. There's no requirement to settle each aspect right away; nonetheless, it is crucial to consistently strive for a resolution. Take heart in fostering an environment where staff members can take part in resolving these conflicts. fosters psychological security and confidence amongst teams.

Reserve escalation for when all else fails.

Within a society where straightforward conflict resolution is standard practice, escalation ought to occur solely once all alternative approaches have been fully explored. Engage in discussions. Address the discrepancies, and try each plausible remedy prior to elevating the matter higher up the hierarchy.

And if you’re the one being handed the monkey before those steps have been followed? Smile. Breathe. Then, hand it back with love. Ask, “What do you think needs to happen here?” Then, wait.

Redefining leadership means refusing to be the emotional custodian for other people’s avoided conversations. It means saying, again and again: “We solve this together. Not up, not over, but together.” The next time you find yourself hoping the boss will step in and fix what’s broken between you and your peer, pause. Ask: Am I doing the work of leading or am I just delegating up?

This blog entry initially appeared here The News Pulsecom .

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